Anger Management Problems

Anger is a very natural and human emotion. When our expectations are not met, we feel anger. Natural anger varies in proportion to the unexpected event. Our ability to control our anger determines whether or not we have anger management problems. If we can become angry and not allow the feeling to get out of control, we probably don’t have a problem. If we lash out at people for minor irritants and cannot control our reactions to stressors, then we do have anger management problems.

One very obvious anger management problem is bullying. A bully enjoys taking out his anger on others who irritate him. Even the smallest slight can instigate a bullying incident. The bully reacts by yelling verbal insults, hitting, shoving, or exhibiting aggressive behavior. He often resorts to threats of physical violence even for an event that most people would simply shake off. The bully has few if any anger management skills. Without help the bully will act in increasingly violent ways.

Another anger management problem is being revengeful. Most people plot revenge when they are hurt in some way, generally a very painful episode. These revenge plots are mental ways of coping with intense anger. For most people these plots remain fantasies and pass as the anger abates. The angry person who cannot control his anger will plot revenge and actually carry out the revenge. Often his reaction to anger will be overly punitive and very violent.

Some people who have anger management problems display hot and cold behaviors. They can be raging one minute and then cool the next. If a stressor presents itself, this person will more than likely explode in ways that are not commiserate with the event. If a car cuts him off, he will often blow his horn for long periods of time or even follow the car and try to run it off the road. Road rage is at an all time high. The explosive person who is stalled in traffic may also exhibit rage and ram a car just out of frustration.

One very common anger management problem is the blame game. The angry person thinks everyone is out to get him. Everyone else is responsible for his problems. He feels that no one has ever given him the chances he deserves. No matter what he does he can’t seem to catch a break. He blames others for his own mistakes and lashes out at everyone he comes in contact with. He usually can’t keep a job because of his anger problems.

Often people with anger management problems are very selfish. They really don’t care if their behavior hurts others or simply aggravates them. They enjoy cutting people off in traffic and love to watch other people’s reactions. They will often cut in line because they don’t care if they inconvenience others. Their selfishness will allow them to ignore people who need help because they lack the empathy to care.

People with anger management problems need help. Although anger is natural, the inability to manage this anger causes a lifetime of problems.

Copyright 2007 Janice D. Sterling - All Rights Reserved

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